A Fair question, padawan. It seems that any schmuck able to create a google.com account can get one of these things. And it grants you a greater amount of legitimacy, you know, because I can type an email account into a box. People have lost so much faith in actual forms of media, that they will fumble blindly in the dark, possibly to the point that they'll google the title and read the contents of some blog that ANYONE could have written. I totally had the wrong idea. I thought I had to get an extra two years of schooling to get that type of legitimacy. I should instead just write 2-3 inflammatory things a day, and hope enough other people will link from their blog to my blog. I should have gotten in on this perverse literary pyramid scheme YEARS ago. Also, I was sort of pissed Facebook Notes didn't have a toolbar to format text. NOTE: I know it did, but it was shitty html language. I actually have a life. I can't be bothered with all these bullshit. Before this, I didn't even know what those things meant. And I know everything about everything.
Wait, by "Why start a blog?" I actually meant "Why are you such a tool?"
I know, I know. Only douchebags have blogs. Fair point. My only defense is: Look at what I did before this. I was posting it on Facebook. It was a flawed premise from the start. People use Facebook for high school boobage and to inflame latent stalker tendencies, not to read about Paris Hilton. Now it's on simply the internet, and we all know no one uses that for those purposes.
Hey, I like your post about -insert topic-, but didn't you know -insert blogger, writer, musician, actor, model- already does this, and it's better than yours?
I can't answer this with an impassioned defense involving relativism and how writing is art, and therefore, there can be no way to say someone else is doing anything better than me. I'm pretty sure anyone who argues for relativism in writing is simply a shitty writer with a small wang. (Note: Might not be the Webster's Dictionary Definition). I can only say that you are probably wrong, and that whatever I write will probably be better than 99.9% of what is already available for mass consumption on the web. That last sentence was so good it just broke the sound barrier.
Will you be this sarcastic in every single post?
Sarcasm is the only weapon of mass destruction I can use with any type of effectiveness. Expect it often, coupled with irony (which I only use with the effectiveness of a homemade dirty bomb: the title... hello?) every now and again.
What does the title of your blog mean?
Nothing. I sort of liked the fact that it rhymed, and I liked the alliteration. In fact, I become aroused sexually every time anyone uses the same letter sound three times in a row. So I was just really being a typical guy. Plus, I thought I would give out "year-end" awards to people I hated, and call them hippies, which I found hilarious, but soon realized was just probably lame. Plus Plus, I've lived the last eighteen months of my life in an area where everyone is either an eighteen year old freshman acting way too cool for their britches, or they are a forty five year old zuccinni salesman acting way too cool for their britches. Either way, the one main thing I learned is that everyone is cooler than me, and I couldn't fucking care less.
You couldn't care less? You're writing a fucking blog about it...
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